creating a "showing" paragraph about a natural object
This lesson was built for WritingFix after being proposed by Nevada teacher Joni Martindale at an AT&T-sponsored in-service class for teachers.
The intended "mentor text" to be used when teaching this on-line lesson is the chapter book Sarah, Plain and Tall by Patricia MacLachlan. Before writing, students should listen to and discuss the writing style of this book's author, especially chapter 2.
If you are a Washoe County teacher, click here to search for this book at the county library.
Teacher Instructions & Lesson Resources :
Step one (sharing the published model): Read from the book Sarah, Plain and Tall and discuss MacLachlan's marvelous use of both words and crafted sentences. Says Joni, "If time does not permit reading the whole book, focus on chapter two, pages 11 through 15 in my copy. Tell students to be listening for good describing words as you read." Make a class list of favorite adjectives MacLachlan used to describe things and places in nature.
Step two (introducing student models of writing): In small groups, have your students read and respond to any or all of the student models that come with this lesson. The groups will certainly talk about the word choice, since that's the focus of this lesson, but you might also have your students talk about the sentence fluency in the writing too.
We're looking for student samples for all grade levels for this prompt! Help us get some, and we'll send you a free resource for your classroom! Contact us at publish@writingfix.com for details.
Step three (thinking and pre-writing):With your students, brainstorm objects/places of nature on the board. If students need more ideas, direct them to the button on the Student Instructions Page.
Once the class has brainstormed ideas for topics, have each student complete the graphic organizer with at least 20 descriptive words. Once they have finished their graphic organizers, have students write a rough draft describing the object or place in nature they have chosen. Use the Sentence Fluency Drafting Sheet below to ensure they are thinking about sentences fluency as they compose. Have students self-edit their drafts for spelling and punctuation. Look over students' shoulders as they are editing and make suggestions for word choice and sentence fluency improvements. Have students write a second draft. After they have written this draft, have each student find a partner. One student will read their paragraph and one will listen. When the reader is finished, the listener will draw a picture based on what they heard. Next they will switch roles and do the same thing.
When both partners have read and drawn, the readers will staple the picture the listener drew to their writing and turn them in.
Step four (revising with specific trait language): To promote response and revision to rough draft writing, attach WritingFix's Revision and Response Post-Its to your students' drafts. Make sure the students rank their use of the trait-specific skills on the Post-Its, which means they'll only have one "1" and one "5." Have them commit to ideas for revision based on their Post-It rankings. For more ideas on WritingFix's Revision & Response Post-Its, click here.
Step five (editing for conventions): After students apply their revision ideas to their drafts and re-write neatly, require them to find an editor. If you've established a "Community of Editors" among your students, have each student exchange his/her paper with multiple peers. With yellow high-lighters in hand, each peer reads for and highlights suspected errors for just one item from the Editing Post-it. The "Community of Editors" idea is just one of dozens and dozens of inspiring ideas that is talked about in detail in the Northern Nevada Writing Project's Going Deep with 6 Trait Language Workbook for Teachers.
Step six (publishing for the portfolio): When they are finished revising and have second drafts, invite your students to come back to this piece once more during an upcoming writer's workshop block. Their stories might become a longer story, a more detailed piece, or the beginning of a series of pieces about the story they started here. Students will probably enjoy creating an illustration for this story as they get ready to publish it for their portfolios.
Interested in publishing student work on-line? We invite student writers to post final drafts of their original at WritingFix's Community of Student Writers. This is a safe-to-use blog for students and teachers. No writing is posted until it is approved by the moderator. Contact us at publish@writingfix.com if you have questions about getting your students published.
Learn more about author Patricia MacLachlan by clicking here.
