A Picture Book Writing Lesson from WritingFix
Focus Trait: IDEA DEVELOPMENT Support Trait: ORGANIZATION

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Rolling with
the Animals

writing original stories
with action-packed descriptors

The writing of author David Shannon is currently inspiring student writers to try new techniques with the traits of idea development and organization.

Your students can self-publish their writing done to this lesson by clicking here.


Student Sample: Early Elementary

Penguin on a Surfboard
by Emily, third grade writer

One summer day, a penguin was getting a tan.  Penguin saw this red-colored, orange flaming plastic-looking thing by the old palm tree.  He waddled over to it and picked it up. Penguin called it a surfboard.  Penguin took the surfboard to the ocean and tried riding on a wave.  After several tries to stand on the surfboard he did it. 

Soon he rode past Shark and said, "Cow a bung ya!" He then surfed away. 

Seal was playing by some rocks and saw Penguin riding on a surfboard and said, "Who does he  think he is? Tony Hawk?"

Two Blue Jays were flying in the sky above the ocean and saw Penguin surfing on the board.  They were daydreaming on how much fun that might be, and then they saw 16 bananas on a tree nearby. They were hungry so they quickly flew over to the tree, but before they could get over there, Penguin rode his surfboard on a large wave and he snatched the bananas up. 

All the animals on the beach started chasing Penguin by swimming as fast as they could.  Penguin fell off his surfboard and the other animals were getting closer to him,  but before the animals could catch him, something distracted them them.  All their eyes went to a place on the beach.  There were 10 surfboards in a straight line just sitting on the beach. 

Each of the animals swam back to the beach and got a surf board. They all went surfing in the ocean along with Penguin.  It was getting late and at 10:00 P.M. they had hot chocolate and went to bed. 

All the animals dreamed of surfing together on the big wave and leaving Penguin behind. When they woke they found Penguin surfing on the biggest wave eve,r and they joined him.  All the animals laughed and surfed all day long.


Student Sample Being Sought: Upper Elementary

WritingFix is currently seeking a 4th-6th grade student's sample from this writing assignment that can be featured here. Submitted student work must show evidence of revision, editing, and the final draft must be typed and sent through e-mail. Teachers: if you can help us obtain up to three student samples, along with a digital photo of the students and a signed permission slips, we will send you either a complimentary copy of the Northern Nevada Writing Project's Elementary Writing Guide, or you may choose from any of our NNWP publications.

Write to us at publish@writingfix.com and use 'Duck on a Bike' in your e-mail's subject line, if you have a student sample to share with us.


Student Sample: Middle School

Lucky Pedals
by Tyson, eighth grade writer

Lucky the squirrel was gathering nuts for the winter when he came across the bike. The whole bike was red except for the fork, which was a deep blue. The bike had two wheels and a really cool basket. The best thing of all…it was just the right size, and you know how squirrels are; they can’t resist a good look at something. It was just too tempting, so he dropped all of the nuts that he was carrying and shot toward the bike. He looked it over front to back, then deciding to take it out for a little spin, he leapt onto it.

As he was riding, he came upon Beaver working on his dam. When Beaver saw that Lucky was riding the bike, he jumped up onto the dam. “Goodness, that is a very good bike that you have there, yes yes yes. Where did you get it?”

“I got it in the forest. It was just lying around. I decided that a ride was necessary. Don’t you think that it looks great?”

“Oh, yes yes yes. I wish I had one just like that. I think that after I finish the dam that I will take a look myself and see if there is any more of those just lying around. That would be very fun to get one just like that!” Beaver then jumped off his dam. “I think that I should go now!”

So Lucky kept riding on. When he turned the bend, he heard a splatter and suspected that the dam had broken.

Then he came to Duck. She was taking a picnic when he rode past her. “That is a wonderful bike that you have there. Does Beaver know about it? I think that he would like it very much.” Before Lucky could speak, she packed her lunch and said, “I think that I will go look for one myself. I would love to have one.”

She hobbled away, muttering to herself about youngsters being so careless. So Lucky kept riding.

As Lucky was whistling to himself, he heard an angry cry from behind him. It was Chimpanzee, who looked really angry. “That’s my bike, you thief!” Then Chimpanzee leapt up into the air and landed on Lucky’s back.

Lucky fell off the bike, landing on the side of it. He was not hurt, but he did not know about the bike. He didn’t know anything about bikes, but it seemed okay. He brushed himself off with his paws and got up.

Chimpanzee was furious. “How could you steal my bike?! I had left it leaning against a tree while I climbed another tree and ate bananas. When I came down, it was gone. I saw the nuts that were scattered on the ground and realized that it must have been you.”

“I am SOOOOOOOO sorry,” Lucky apologized. “I did not mean for this to happen. When I saw the bike, I thought that maybe someone had left it, and it would be good for me to take it for a spin. I was going to return it, and I am sorry that I stole your bike. Here is your bike and I will go gather nuts,” Lucky said as he handed the bike to Chimpanzee. “I know now that I should never take anyone’s stuff, even if it is just sitting there.”

“It’s all right. Don’t go making a fuss about it. I didn’t realize that you had not meant to steal it. I should be the one saying I am sorry.” Then he got on his bike and rode off.

Lucky shook his small head and headed back to gather nuts.


Student Sample Being Sought: High School

WritingFix is currently seeking a 9th-12th grade student's sample from this writing assignment that can be featured here. Submitted student work must show evidence of revision, editing, and the final draft must be typed and sent through e-mail. Teachers: if you can help us obtain up to three student samples, along with a digital photo of the students and a signed permission slips, we will send you either a complimentary copy of the Northern Nevada Writing Project's Secondary Writing Guide, or you may choose from any of our NNWP publications.

Write to us at publish@writingfix.com and use 'Duck on a Bike' in your e-mail's subject line, if you have a student sample to share with us.

 


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